Wednesday, July 14, 2004

The calm before the proverbial storm (Why does that thunder sound like wedding bells?!?)

So I'm about to leave for Bozeman. Actually, in that Bozeman is 752 miles from here (according to Mapquest), I'm gonna break the trip up a little, and the first stop will be Walla Walla. Its a little out of the way, but it takes about 3 hours off tomorrow's drive. In case you don't know Bozeman happens to be the site of my buddy Nate's wedding. He is the first of any of my buddies to tie the knot, and this will be the first wedding that I am voluntarily attending. I'm pretty sure I'm about to lose my mind, and I feel eerily like I'm in the midst of the calm before the mental storm that will inevitably ensue once it fully sinks in that Nate, uninhibited and almost overly wild in high school so much as to the point of being arrested for vandalism, is "settling down" FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. Actually, writing that just now made it sink in a little more. But I still have a long way to go. A LONG way.

Marriage is insane. I can't even wrap my mind around it right now, which is why I'm know I'm no where close to ready for it. Then again, perhaps if I was in a relationship, I would be putting more thought into it at this point. But I'm not, fortunately (or unfortunately) so marriage hasn't been a source of much thought. However, now that I will be force-feeding marriage-related stimuli into my brain over the next three or four days, I'm sure I'll have to think about it. Cause I HAVE to think about everything that happens to me, whether I want to or not. Not just think, but dissect. I have to break everything into components, and examine each component from all angles. Very scientific. (Hmmmm, I wonder if I think that way because I've been trained to do so by my area of study, or if I was drawn to that particular area of study because of the way I inherently think. Interesting though, I don't think I've ever had it before....) But right now, I'm calm. And I'm going to Walla Walla tonight, and things , as they are now, in my mind, will be complicated only in that I will have people to hang out with. Perhaps I will tap their brains for their thoughts on marriage. The storm starts tomorrow evening, when I arrive in Bozeman and dive immediately into the obligatory bachelor party (Oh my God,I can't believe I'm going to a bachelor party tomorrow night!) And the storm will probably not end for a few weeks, or maybe a month...but I'm ok with that. Its just my neurons making connections, and I'm all about that.

I've decided that I'm going to try to keep a written diary...short entries that record my random thoughts pertaining to various stages of the drawn out process that is a wedding. By the way, the wedding is on saturday. As I said, thursday is the bachelor party, and friday is the reception dinner ("Open bar, dude!"--Farva). I'm going to publish the diary on this here blog, either in installments or all at once when I get back. So, get ready. I'm gonna go drive. So it goes.

NOTE: This was written on July 14, but not published...because blogger was having issues. The written diary thing didn't work, simply because once I realized the magnitude fo the experience I was in for this weekend, I realized that I couldn't take away from it by attempting to keep a log. I just needed to sit back and experience. There would be plenty of time to reflect...and I wouldn't forget the important moments. Besides, as soon as you try to observe something from a scientific standpoint, you disturb it. Its the age-old problem with science (I'm actually probably going to write a post about this sometime). You seek out certain observations instead of entering a situation with no expectations (not that you don't expect it to be a good experience, just that you don't expect that it will make you feel a certain way, or that it will happen a certain way), and just letting it happen, and letting it make you feel. This way you leave room for a new emotion.

NOTE; The previous NOTE was written immediately after the "brace yourselves" post.


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